2015 has been a year of an equal mix of hits and flops for the Bollywood industry. With a generation growing with the speed of lightning it is becoming tough for the makers to pin-point the category which is most suitable for the diverse audience.
Who am I kidding? Anything can work in Bollywood, you somehow get the audience you make the film for.
1 billion se kuch crore toh mil hi jate hain.
Coming to the broad topic of the biggest flops that the nation has seen (per the content not the box office revenue), we have compiled a list of 20 films that you should stay away from to keep your mind sane.
A real advice from a real friend.
There must be more than 1 crore SRK fans in India, just an assumption. Why wouldn’t the hype of Kajol and Shahrukh acting together push each one of us till the theaters? Well, many of us did, without a hint of doubt about the versatile duo.
What we forgot was the director’s name and boom, there we experienced our minds getting splattered all over the big screen trying to make sense of where the story was heading. Just like the cars flying here and there for no reason.
I understand Shahrukh has started experimenting with many roles to entertain his kids, but. Tsk tsk.
I can’t say no more.
2. Hate Story 3
First of all, what in the world made Sharman Joshi be a part of this boob show. Okay, we understand Zareen and Daisy were not getting much work so they landed with this masterpiece and they do not give much thought to story lines as per their film history.
But Sharman? Is this the guy who was a part of 3 idiots? Another actor trying to experiment over how he would look in a B-grade porn hub? If that was your wish, you totally fulfilled it honey.
3. All is well
Of course it had to be about Abhishek Bachchan, all about him as the poster says. Isn’t it high time he should try his hands at some other profession? He is still fighting on but killing us terribly in the process.
All is Well made us feel too unwell with its headless direction, horrifying script and cinema-towed the line-graphy. If you want to still say it was okay, you must be rewarded with a good amount of patience and optimism.
Human-superman Arjun Kapoor following Sallu Bhai’s savior attitude, oh, thus the song, ‘Salman ka fan’.
Gladly I do not have to say much as this song sums up the entire movie. Arjun Kapoor being Salman da fan is the hero who saves the damsel from the villain, thanks to his God gifted abilities which is common in all Bollywood actors. He single-handedly wins all the Kabbadi games his team takes part in and thus, has immense Tevar (attitude) due to all the super show.
Thus, a super flop throughout.
Many of us had immense hopes from this one. Unfortunately we got mixed in the never-ending loop of seeing nothing for 2 hours straight.
First of all, someone should teach the director the meaning of parallel editing and how to treat the audience like a human with a brain (no offence). The music is lovely but a failure in hiding the senseless film that was surely made by an amateur experiencing delusions of grandeur.
5. Humari Adhuri Kahani
We expected a blast from Vidya Balan and Emraan Hashmi after their Dirty Picture. We won’t go too hard on them as it’s not easy to make every film a super-hit when you are together but below average was uncalled for. The music saves the movie to a large extent and helps in garnering some profits following the likes of Ek Tha Villain and Ashiqui 2.
6. Welcome Back
‘No thank you’ was the response the audience gave to this non-hilarious sequel. Kapil Sharma was an addition much looked forward to in the sequel, alas, he should stick to Comedy Nights. Nowadays, no one gives two hoots about the script thinking that the actors would entertain the audience with their senseless characters.
Reality Check: No actor can play nothing as this nothing cannot be seen, let alone enjoyed by anyone on this planet.
Quite a shandaar movie, if you watch it without the use of your brains, eyes and ears. Nose as well, if they invent another dimension of watching films. In case you like useless animation, toothless chatter and illogical stuff, we would still advice you to go and watch impossible South Indian movies that are scattered all over YouTube and leave this aside. Forever.
No, cute Shahid and Alia also can’t be your eye candies.
A film that was considered Aishwarya Rai’s comeback turned into a loud screeching nightmare for the audience. Jazbaa was taken a little too literally by the blue-eyed actress with her over-dramatic acting with the decibel level crossing the likes of the bats living in caves (they might be her audience)
Irrfan Khan kept the pace running but Mrs Bachchan left us feeling quite amused with the way she over-did her role. I mean we understand you might not be loving your husband too much but there was no need to pour out all the anger in this film.
Gosh, we can still hear her nasal high-pitched voice.
9. Katti Batti
Katti Katti. The lead Kangana Ranaut and Imraan Khan have still not reached our digestive systems as a romantic couple. They just do not click. The emotions make you laugh more than control a tear and it is so bland in comparison to Kangana’s stellar films that it succeeds in being like the wind which just comes and goes without anyone feeling even a slight difference.
Jiah Khan’s boyfriend’s debut Hero was a flop since the production began. Sunil Shetty’s daughter succeeded in becoming the actress we are never going to remember.
A gangster and a police daughter fall in love= no creativity involved.
No offence intended but seriously, you called the movie Hero?
Koi nai, Sallu Bhai will save your future.
If you have seen Tom Hardy’s ‘Warrior’, then this movie will make you pull your hair till you turn bald. No matter how you decide to see the movie, you will compare it to Warrior and it won’t be half as good. Even though it’s a licensed re-make of the Hollywood movie, we would not recommend it as a watch.
Though in case you have not seen Warrior, do see it and save yourself from the re-make.
What we all expected to be a bang on film turned out to be a complex mixture of a tasteless khichdi (the khichdi they serve when you are sick). Well, the promos made us all excited for a film that would utilize satire over the idiotic religious battles we fight in this nation.
Instead it turned out to be an insane blend of satire, comedy, social preaching, confusion amongst the endless ways the director tried to make it.
Instead of coming with a bang, it banged out the audience out of the hall in just a day.
13. Bombay Velvet
Anurag Kashyap makes a disaster, who would not remember Anurag Kashyap making a disaster? Eclectic style and jazz laid narrative tried and tested with an Indian audience and failed miserably. We all know Kashyap’s films are always a class apart but dude, you gotta slow down on your mind-blowing film-making. Let us catch up with you one step at a time.
14. Mr X
The television was enough to prepare us for the abomination that was Mr X. Editing like the Avatar professionals where Emraan Hashmi, the invisible man looks like wriggling water stuck in a block of cement turning into lube. God, even we cannot understand how to frame the disaster that the movie was.
In case you want to see some comedy, we would recommend Mr X, trying to be an invisible vigilante. Oh, Hashmi has to lock lips even while being that wriggling form of whatever he was.
Watch it if you want to try some masochism.
15. Ab Tak Chappan 2
Who has created the necessity of making a sequel if a film becomes a hit once? Okay, we understand Ab Tak Chappan was a success so why don’t we leave it at that and enjoy its novelty.
And even if the possibility of a sequel is high, why not make it more mind-blowing than the first part? Do not destroy the movie in our eyes just for the sake of getting some box office revenue dude.